If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. [Matt 10:39, NLT]
I am a self-made person. I need only about ten rupees worth of God and Jesus – could I buy ten rupees worth of gospel, please? Not too much – just enough to secure my ticket to heaven, but not so much that I get obsessed or addicted.
I don’t want so much of God that it messes up my present lifestyle and causes me to turn away from the things that are so much a part of me. You know…anger, gossip, greed, resentment, envy and lust. I certainly don’t want so much that I start bringing God into every area of my life. He will want me to love my enemies, deny myself, serve others and start sharing Jesus with those who don’t know him.
At the end of the day I want to live for myself – not for God or for others. I want easy living, not repentance. Integrity is for losers, respectability is enough for me. I want to have a good reputation, not real transformation. I would like to make friends with some nice, forgiving, broad-minded people, but I myself don’t want to love those who are different, especially if they don’t belong to my community or social class.
I would like as much of God I need to make my family secure and my children well-behaved, but not so much that I find my ambitions redirected or my giving too greatly enlarged. Ten rupees worth of God and Jesus is more than enough for me – could I have ten rupees worth of gospel, please?